all of us are the perverts our parents warned us about

duamuteffe:

Christ I should bloody well hope not- the only perverts my parents warned me about were the types who lured small children into vans with candy.

Ditto.  My parents even had a code word in case someone with a candy-filled van came a knockin’.  If that bastard didn’t say “snotty-nose-booger-face” I was to run screaming in the opposite direction.  

This is all true.

Oh shit now you all know the code word and I can’t trust anyone with a van full of candy ever again.